’ ‘John,’ she started. ‘everyone tells me that you are the person to ask,’ continued Gill, a little nervously. ‘Ask me what?’ Jake looked up from filing his daily copy logs in his binder, and concentrated his warm brown eyes, smiling expectantly at her. ‘Well, I have a couple of inactive teenagers at home and, since Christmas, I have been trying to lick them into shape.’ ‘Oh dear, maybe ‘lick’ wasn’t the best word to use here,’ she thought, especially as she felt more and more like licking him all over. Gill was so wishing he was not gay and that he had an hitherto unrecognised fetish about older divorcees, especially about one older divorcee in particular who had been working her butt off in the gym for months. She pulled herself together and continued, ‘I have them eating better food while they are at home with me, but I just can’t get them to do any exercise at all, I’ve even taken out a rather pricey family membership at my local gym but neither of them will get off their. I'd say Arab male in his twenties from a Middle Eastern pesthole where they longed to treat women as slaves and loved their camels, literally I think, but that was be profiling or something. The government invited the US FBI in (one of them was a huge fan and got to tour the set and get autographs), and the government rounded up a cell of terrorists.Left-wing ideologues called the US facility at Guantanamo a gulag, though I'm sure they don't know that that is a Soviet Union term. It's the Ritz Carlton compared to prison on a Caribbean island (and I stayed at the Ritz when I appeared on Letterman). I'm sure they would have preferred Gitmo. Here they were treated like filth. I'm sure it ticked them off, but they didn't have any sympathetic and self-destructive Press to trumpet their cause to the skies. If you can't do the time, as they say, don't do the crime.If this suggests I've a low opinion of these people who hate us so much, I do. Unlike some sympathizers, I've read their works.
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